KRYPTONITE

"YOU ARE GOING TO MISS THE BUS!"..My Mom at the foot of the stairs.... She said the same thing every school day. I never missed the bus. It was just something she felt she had to say, I guess.

I shuffled down the stairs in my pajamas and sat at the kitchen table to have my breakfast. Orange juice and cinnamon toast. My Dad had made a shaker jar out of a small Hellman's Sandwich Spread glass jar by poking holes in the lid, just like you would to keep lightning bugs in. Mom mixed sugar and cinnamon in it and we would shake it onto our buttered toast. Breakfast. Large glass of OJ..ready for the sugar spike. I had some butter on my fingers when I lifted the glass and it hit the edge of the table before spilling in my lap. Crap. Back upstairs.

 Rummaging through my dresser drawer.."MA! I GOT NO CLEAN UNDERWEAR!"
"Well, I didn't do a wash...wear what you have on."
"I can't...I spilt juice on 'em!"
Footsteps up the stairs. Her searching hands feeling through the dresser. She pulled out a colorful cardboard package which was, until that morning, unopened since my eighth Birthday, almost two years ago.
"Here...wear these"
"I ain't wearin those...they're for babies"
"You are the big Superman fan...YOU WANTED these.."
"I ain't wearin them"
"You AREN'T wearing them...I mean you ARE....or I'll give you a pair of your sister's"
I stared at her as if she grew an alien head and she turned and walked downstairs. I opened the package of red and blue Superman briefs and held them in front of me.
"AND YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE BUS"
I slipped on the undies..."Coming, Lois"

Fourth grade. I am in class with about 25 other kids and slogging through Arithmetic, Social Studies, Science. All the while looking at the clock, waiting for lunch. When the hour finally arrived, you could feel a sort of release ripple through the class. We ate at our desks..the Milk Monitor walked up and down the rows handing out the tiny containers to each student. Brown bags opened, some torn open...mine always carefully unfolded and refolded when empty, so many times that it was as soft as velvet.
Lunch over. Recess. NOW we're talking. Column of twos down the hall and outside...today, because it's nice weather. The level of noise in the schoolyard must be incredible as we fly around with games of tag, girls jumping rope, bouncing spaldeens on ice cream stcks. Amazing levels of energy, but none as great as mine, because unknown to anyone,....I am Superman, and I have the underwear to prove it.

I think I felt before I heard it. A great ripping sound as I jumped across a gigantic puddle as only the Man of Steel could attempt. Horrors...I had torn the middle seam of my trousers. I reached down when no one was looking and confirmed my greatest fear...at LEAST 10 inches torn. Opened like the side of the Titanic. The hole back of my seat. From that moment on, I made sure no one walked behind me and I sat on the sidelines, faking like I was out of breath.
My teacher, Mrs.Broderick , checked her watch and blew a little whistle, ending recess. I made sure I was last in my column and shuffled back to class...undetected.

When we got back into class, the movie screen was pulled down and the projector set up on its stand. This was the best news I could have gotten. No work at the blackboard for the rest of the day, no standing up to answer questions if I get called upon. I was home free, my torn pride and secret intact. Just about 2 hours to go and I can tie my windbreaker around my waist for the bus trip home. I was Clark Kent, smiling because nobody was on to me.

My mind didn't register the sound at first...it intruded, rudely but with a finality that kicked me in the stomach. The Hallway Gong...every second. Gong. Gong. Not a Fire Drill.
Worse.
AIR RAID DRILL.
Way back then..the world wasn't that far removed from World War, the Korean War. It was the Cold War now and we lived under the threat of attack from the Communists. The Reds. The Russians.
Authorities really didn't know how to respond to the threat, and knew even less of how to prepare for it.
So...in schools all over America, we prepared for attacks by Atom Bombs and H-Bombs by kneeling in school hallways...our young heinies in the air. Torn pants and all, thank you very much, Mr. Kruschev.
And as I knelt, horrified, with my head against the wall with my Super-Ass in the air...I listened for the Giggles or Snickers that surely had to come as the teachers walked up and down, inspecting us for proper Nuclear form. I couldn't make myself any smaller.
Then, it was over and I was back in my seat, getting ready to wrap my jacket around me and head for the bus.
The bell sounded and I walked slowly to the door,making sure I was last out.
"Thomas" the teacher called.
"Yes, Mrs. Broderick?"
"You know, if it was really an Atom Bomb, even Superman couldn't help"